Are you caught in the rip of life? How life coaching can help you break free.
This morning I went for a swim at Gunnamatta Beach, on the Mornington Peninsula with my partner - now I read it is described as a ‘high energy, highly exposed 3km’s of surf with strong rips close to the shore’. I was drawn to a little nook, that looked sheltered where the water was beautiful and inviting, but before I knew it, after a paddle and a splash, I found us caught in an unexpected rip current. For those who may not be familiar, a rip is a powerful current that pulls swimmers away from shore. It can happen so quickly that you don't even realise you're in it until it's too late. As soon as I noticed- I said, this is not good- we need to get back. I could feel myself being dragged further and further out, and my heart started to race. My partner said ‘relax it’s all good’. Whilst I appreciated the sentiment (or oblivion) … I’d spent three months living in a fisherman village surfing and working in Morocco, (Imsouane) and had my fair share of near death experiences - being caught in a ‘washing machine’ where you don’t know which way is up - maybe a post for another day.. and nose diving on waves much bigger than my skill. I wanted to get back to shore - it was absolutely NOT all good.
By this time, so local surfers noticed we were in the whirlpool, unable to break out- at that moment, I had a choice: panic or stay calm. I chose the latter - just wanted to find a solution.
In the moment I actually forgot the advice that so many lifeguards offer — don’t fight the current. You cannot fight forces of nature, a great teacher- in moments like this you realise how mighty powerful nature is and it humbles you to the size and stature of a grain of sand. Instead, you’re supposed to swim parallel to the shore until you're out of the rip’s grasp. A lovely woman called Lola waved towards us ‘come here’ she was saying… but I thought getting to the rocks to crawl up would be better - but the waves were getting bigger, so I eventually followed her, she patiently waited. Lola also said once I got closer, ‘we’ll swim together, long stroke, relax…’. She was willing to get stuck in the rip together, to help a complete stranger. My partner had made some progress, but then was struggling as well- we were both fighting our ways back, another surfer (Lola’s partner- honestly if it wasn’t for these too!) had helped him with a board get back and they ended up getting onto the rocks. I took a deep breath, focused on my strokes and I made it back to the safety of the shore with her calm guidance.
Gunnamatta Beach
But as I reflected on that experience, I couldn’t help but think: this is so much like life itself. Sometimes, we get caught in the current of life's challenges, and before we know it, we’re being insidiously dragged away from where we want to be- and maybe even into danger. It might not be as obvious as a rip in the ocean, but life can pull us in directions we don’t want to go.
So let me ask you- who is your ‘Lola’ in life, that will notice, and come and flag you down when you’re being pulled beyond your limits (maybe into danger) or down a track that’s not making you happy? That person that will swim with you through the challenges of life. If you don’t have one, it’s important you find one. This could be a mentor, friend, colleague, a life coach, someone who has been to the ocean more times than you, or has another vantage point that allows them to offer insights and wisdom to help ultimately get you out of trouble.
Gunnamatta Beach - Mornington Peninsula
The Rip of Life: Are You Caught?
As a life coach, I hear almost daily how easy it is to get stuck in situations that take us away from our true path, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a job that drains you, or just bad habits that become hard to break. Much like that rip, these forces can slowly pull you out, and you may not even realise how far you’ve been dragged until you're too far out to swim back easily.
The biggest risk isn’t necessarily the pull itself, but the fact that it can happen so gradually. You might find yourself doing things that aren’t serving you, agreeing to things you don't truly want, or hanging around people who don’t lift you up. Over time, it feels harder and harder to get back on track, and eventually, you might feel helpless. It’s not dissimilar to a frog being slowly boiled in water!
But here’s the thing: just like with a rip, you can get out. The key is awareness.
Letting Someone Help You
When I was caught in that rip, I was with my partner, but there were also others on the watch - we were a bit early for the Life Saving Club to have spotted us... There were others in the water who saw me struggling and offered their help. That was the moment I realised: when you're in a tough situation in life, sometimes the best thing you can do is reach out for help. Whether it’s a friend, a mentor, or a life coach, there are people who care and who can help guide you back to where you want to be.
As a life coach, I see so many people who are struggling in their own "rips" — whether they’re stuck in a career that no longer excites them, feeling lost in a relationship, or simply unsure about the next steps in life. It’s easy to lose sight of your true goals, it is absolutely exhausting and you can feel like strokes away from giving up - but you don’t have to go it alone.
Navigating life’s challenges, rips, up and downs is better with your support crew- your bestie, your fam or your life coach.
Breaking Free from the Rip
So, what’s the way out of your "rip"? Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Awareness is key. Like recognising a rip when you're swimming, it’s vital to identify when life is pulling you in a direction you don’t want to go. Look for signs of dissatisfaction, burnout, or disconnection from your goals. Awareness is the first step to personal growth, development and change.
Ask for help. When you're stuck, don’t hesitate to reach out. Whether it's talking to someone you trust or seeking professional support, asking for help can provide clarity and a new perspective and confidence.
Take small, intentional steps. If you're in a tough spot, don’t expect immediate change. Just like swimming parallel to the shore in a rip, small and steady actions will get you back on track without feeling overwhelmed.
Stay true to yourself. It’s easy to get swept away by others' expectations or by societal pressures, but remember: the best way to find your way back to shore is by aligning your actions with your true values and desires.
Don’t let it stop you from trying again. Classic Jilly, I was back in the water quicker than you can say ‘idiot’- but I knew that I just needed to tweak what I was doing, not stop. So I swum between the flags. My partner took a little warming up to get back in- but we had a lot of fun once he was ready to go in. I also think everyone has their own processing timeline- so this should absolutely not be rushed. Just remember to not let it stop you.
Ask yourself- what are you here to teach me? The ocean is powerful, I learned to be more careful with rips- but when you use the rip with knowledge- it can be like a highway for surfers to paddle out the back with ease, I call it a free ride.
Pass on the learning- can you help someone when you notice them in the rip? I told Lola I will keep an eye on that section incase others get stuck. And even by the time the Life Surf Club came and marked the area ‘do not swim’ two surfers were paddling that same spot, for longer than felt comfortable to watch, so I was able to tell the Life Surf Club, that there were two people struggling to get out of the rip- and the young teen volunteer life guards were able to jump into the water with them, actually put one of them on their boards- they were so tired— but nonetheless, quickly guide them out.
If you’re feeling caught in the rip of life, I invite you to reach out. Sometimes we all need a hand to guide us back to a place of clarity, confidence and purpose. You deserve to swim with the current of your own dreams — not be dragged away by forces you can't control.
Together, we can find your way back to shore. Book an intro call - or join a free monthly group coaching sessions.
PSA: If you find Lola, please send her my way and if you are reading this, I would like to say a special thank you - Lola, and her partner for helping me and mine get back safely.
